Revisions

Based on the readings of the editorial for the RiceBall piece, I would only make several revisions. The content issues noted by both reviewers seemed on track but my revisions would mostly revolve around the form of the piece as a whole. Firstly, I would not have entertained the suggestion of turning the form and presentation of the piece into a “DVD w/ extras.” To me, this is a backwards digression; gimmicky and smoozing in and of itself. I would have instead opted for a more easily navigation format (because the first version appeared to be straight-forward and the second appeared to be overdone). However, then one must take into account audience – maybe the DVD format would appeal more to a crowd who was familiar with that aspect of technological innovation. I’m not sure what avenue I would pursue for revision. Though not available at the time, YouTube’s current “annotation” feature would’ve been something appealing for the content attached to the video. On the topic of the presentation of the content, I was at first confused by the “and/or” and “but” sections. However, after their purpose became clear, I really thought those could be expanded on and made to be a more central part of the piece’s argument.